mood – You are only as beautiful as your mouth is clean

Read like you can hear my voice…well those that know my voice..enjoy.

WTF…but I’m super duper happy!!! Let me tell you my short little story that turned my world right side up.

I got a letter from the doctor after my completed procedures…Imagine me sitting next to the campfire with the night sky sparkling above, a blanket over my head, and a flashlight held up to my face. Lol. DO IT!!!!

Did you do it??? Keep hold of that image…

This letter tells me NO celiac disease found. Mind blown!! It’s bursting at the seams so over joyed. POP!!

Mind you I need to wait to officially confirm with the other doctor BUT omgoodness….I am not always careful what I order so I’m sure well actually I know I’ve eaten gluten occasionally over several months. Since reading this letter all I can think about is how I need to plan another Disney trip but only because I want a damn churro, monte cristo AND beignets!!! Then there’s all the other food I’ve cut out since being told I’m a celiac in 2019!!

Omgoodness. Excuse me while I clean up my drool…

Cinnabon
Christmas cookies
Crab rangoon
Sushi
Chicken tenders
Fried chicken
McDonald’s fries!!

Umm what else…

Normal tortillas
Burritos at Mexican restaurants and Taco Bell bahaha
PASTA
Yummy pizza crust
ICE CREAM with cookie and brownie pieces

Ugh so much food. Where do I even start?? Well with the doctor I guess…

Omgoodness Olive Garden
Never ending pasta
Portobello ravioli
Bagels
Potlucks I’ve missed
Red vines oh my
Pretzels with cheese sauce 🤤
Chinese food get in my belly
Hot dog at baseball games
Birthday cupcakes!!
All the bread!!!
No label looking – playing I spy for GF
All my favorite Oreos!!!!!
Crazy bread
Stouffers Mac n cheese
Crazy bread!!!
Goldfish!
Chez- its!!
Angel hair pasta
Pasta Roni
Western bacon cheeseburger from Carls Jr
Doughboy donuts
Corn nuts
Panda Express
Top Ramen

When you have to choose a place and you realize it’s gonna be tough since you can eat everywhere your mind spins with happiness of what you’re about to enjoy (but it’s also overwhelming) that you never thought you would eat again, well maybe on my death bed at 105 LMAO.

The grocery bill is magically way less…I can afford to eat again!!! Here I am dancing around with my glittery unicorn wand…

It’s been almost a full month since this new adventure of happiness has started. My son and his girlfriend asked me to compare certain foods that I remember the taste of…so far:

Cheez-its- regular ones. I could have sat down and ate the whole box. I was so excited they were coming out with GF ones in 2026, but I was really getting impatient. I did not eat the whole box, but I wanted to.

KitKats…I loved these, but the one I borrowed from my youngest, lol, was so gross. Come to find out it was a frozen stale KitKat…make sure these are not stale. Vomit! so much yumminess when fresh. I “borrowed” half of her replaced one, lmao.

Went to the OG with my fam. “Breadsticks Gang” as my son called us, but I didn’t have any, because I wanted room for my Never Ending Pasta bowls…they got in my belly, the mushroom sauce still amazing, wish it was a year round flavor!

I can’t seem to find the pistachio oreos, major sad face.

Sushi for our anniversary…omgoodness I missed being able to order anything and everything. Well, the night of our anniversary we were shopping at Costco, because I needed snacks…AND I had Costco pizza, which I didn’t mind at all…drooling all over the place like a St. Bernard puppy. Someone grab me a bib!!

For breakfast at the NV Day Parade I filled up with dos Tipsy Lavender Lemonades and some Carls Jr. lol…

Doughboys…it melted in my mouth, the yummy warm maple gazed twist.

Okay, flash light off…blanket still over my head, because I am probably freezing…

I am having fun introducing all the foods I once loved back into my life. It has been quite the adventure.

In no means do I regret being GF for the years I was, it taught me more than I realized it would. My heart goes out to those who can’t have gluten in their diet, yes food is becoming better tasting, but for an autoimmune disease that has been out there for over 100 years you would think there would be more food options in ALL stores, the food costs would be comparable to all food prices, and it wouldn’t be such a struggle to attend amusement parks, potlucks, and restaurants, etc.

If you are the type of person who likes to donate to shelters, food pantries, etc, please think about those who have special diets and donate for them too.

So, after my fun-ness of medical procedures I know my insides are healthy, my throat was stretched, would never recommend this unless it’s needed, so now no more choking…go ahead let your mind wander on that one.

If you are given a blood test for gluten and it’s positive, DEMAND a biopsy. Read your results, copy and paste them into google – it will break them down for you in words that are understandable.

The best advice that was ever given to me by a doctor during COVID, ‘you are your own advocate, do your own research (I personally suggest looking at the UK research) and fight for your rights’. You can fire your doctor. You can get second opinions. And you can see all your doctor’s notes, it’s your right, they are usually posted in your chart, so download the medical apps, know what is happening with your body.

I can poop some magical poop again!! Bahaha sorry not sorry.

Love you all!! Thank you for enjoying my nonsense.

AND as always…

Remember to enjoy the Sunshine, Sparkles, and Mother Fucking Unicorn Poop!!!!!

Do they make a gluten-free Snickers? Because I have been one hangry bitch lately.

My inner bitch has been at an all-time high. I try to hold it in, hide it, but it’s difficult. I know everyone can see it, feel it radiate off of me. Afterall I wear my emotions on the outside. I’m like a fucking glow stick…glowing bitch coming through…

Sometimes life gets overwhelming. We can’t always process everything into neat little boxes and stack them in organized rows…well I can’t. I am not that kind of person. I am like the White Rabbit in a four-lane highway trying not to get run over attempting to head down the rabbit hole. I freeze when the headlights shine deep into my soul and BOOM I get hit, run over, guts everywhere to the point I am this fucking major bitch nobody wants to be around. The sunshine and sparkles leave my body and the devil horns holding my halo double in size. I only seem to be nice to certain people and others better duck for cover. Sweet nice Heather has left the building.

I like to analyze what in the actual fuck caused me to act in such a horrible way. This is when I put the boxes in a some what organized ordered…still not organized, still a mess, because let’s face the truth, I run off chaos, spinning in 15 different directions at once. I’m like a first timer at Disneyland. Pretty sure I developed ADHD once I became a 911 dispatcher. Even if you read my blog, some of the entries are all over the place. Ever have a conversation with me? expect to have several in one. Lmao..it’s just who I am. I only know how to relax when I am at the beach with a drink in my hand, maybe, just kidding, I relax around the right people.

Things do not always go the way we want them too. We can hope, pray, build ourselves up to the point that when they don’t go our way, we get so upset we take it out on those closest to us. We make ourselves so sick, stressed to the point we can’t sleep or eat, and it feels like Darth Vader has a grip around our necks. We breakout, our bodies fight against us telling us to knock it off, and yet we still are our own worst enemies.

Life isn’t a Disney fairytale. I can’t sit there feeding the animals, singing to them on how wonderful life is. I love being a mom, but at times my heart breaks. I built myself up, knowing the outcome wasn’t going to be in my favor, but I was still hopeful like a princess locked in her tower. Then as I was asking the question, I was telling myself “stop you already know the answer” and as she sat there not wanting to look me in the eye, she gave me her answer. I looked away so she couldn’t see the tears fill my eyes. That was just the start…my sadness grew into anger as every little thing around me started to bother me. “you need to do this before you get hurt, do that, why are you doing this…” seriously I didn’t know that everyone else was in charge of my life.

I sat frozen in the headlights. Just sitting there. Hearing everything that was going on around me, but not wanting to participate, because I knew the words wouldn’t come out right. I knew I would sound like a hate filled soulless empty monster if I opened my mouth. I had to remain chill so the vomit wouldn’t spew from my lips. Everyone knew I had something to say. Oh well. I didn’t sleep. The stress, the lack of words, the anger kept me tossing and turning. The feeling of not belonging anywhere, lost, hurt, the anger, it was all too much for me to handle. I felt broken. I was too angry to cry that night.

Turning my alarm off before it annoyed me was becoming a new habit. I was in such a stellar mood…as if…I was worse than normal. I would have made the perfect Grumpy. The day dragged to make it even worse; I am sure it was punishing me for my behavior for the week. Laughing at me for being such a bitch. Even when I left, I wasn’t okay. I was angry.

I just wanted to cry to release all the emotion building inside me. I got home and snapped at my teenage daughter like she was in the fast lane driving at a snail’s pace. I decided I needed to burn in hell. In the scolding hot shower, the tears rolled down my cheeks. Fucking finally! Seriously, sometimes a good cry helps!

Things usually don’t bother me like this. I am the type to let things roll off me, knowing I can’t control the universe, knowing karma will catch those that deserve it, and I always find the light in the darkest moments. I am the one that shines and brings the sparkles to people’s day, but here I was, dark, gloomy like Eeyore. Lost.

Later words were shared, hugs given and I knew everything was going to be okay. I finally slept, like Sleeping Beauty waiting for Prince Phillip’s kiss. I woke up not to my alarm, but not from my stress either, I woke up next to someone who cares deeply, who woke me in a caring gentle way.

Finally, I felt more like myself than I have in days. I might have been like the White Rabbit in traffic for a few days at work and around certain people, but I think when the boxes pile up, the stack gets too high, we get overwhelmed with the chaos of the environment, and we can’t handle it all, because we are afraid of what will happen when we clean up the mess or face our feelings on situations occurring in our personal lives. Instead of being a rabbit in the headlights, spinning uncontrollably, or choking on life it is important to remind ourselves we need to breathe, we have to look at the positives and remember we are cared about. We need to rely and go to those who care and love us when we need it most, before we hop on Mr. Toads Wild Ride.

PS…I need some Disneyland….