Ummm What?????

Read like you can hear my voice…well those that know my voice..enjoy.

WTF…but I’m super duper happy!!! Let me tell you my short little story that turned my world right side up.

I got a letter from the doctor after my completed procedures…Imagine me sitting next to the campfire with the night sky sparkling above, a blanket over my head, and a flashlight held up to my face. Lol. DO IT!!!!

Did you do it??? Keep hold of that image…

This letter tells me NO celiac disease found. Mind blown!! It’s bursting at the seams so over joyed. POP!!

Mind you I need to wait to officially confirm with the other doctor BUT omgoodness….I am not always careful what I order so I’m sure well actually I know I’ve eaten gluten occasionally over several months. Since reading this letter all I can think about is how I need to plan another Disney trip but only because I want a damn churro, monte cristo AND beignets!!! Then there’s all the other food I’ve cut out since being told I’m a celiac in 2019!!

Omgoodness. Excuse me while I clean up my drool…

Cinnabon
Christmas cookies
Crab rangoon
Sushi
Chicken tenders
Fried chicken
McDonald’s fries!!

Umm what else…

Normal tortillas
Burritos at Mexican restaurants and Taco Bell bahaha
PASTA
Yummy pizza crust
ICE CREAM with cookie and brownie pieces

Ugh so much food. Where do I even start?? Well with the doctor I guess…

Omgoodness Olive Garden
Never ending pasta
Portobello ravioli
Bagels
Potlucks I’ve missed
Red vines oh my
Pretzels with cheese sauce 🤤
Chinese food get in my belly
Hot dog at baseball games
Birthday cupcakes!!
All the bread!!!
No label looking – playing I spy for GF
All my favorite Oreos!!!!!
Crazy bread
Stouffers Mac n cheese
Crazy bread!!!
Goldfish!
Chez- its!!
Angel hair pasta
Pasta Roni
Western bacon cheeseburger from Carls Jr
Doughboy donuts
Corn nuts
Panda Express
Top Ramen

When you have to choose a place and you realize it’s gonna be tough since you can eat everywhere your mind spins with happiness of what you’re about to enjoy (but it’s also overwhelming) that you never thought you would eat again, well maybe on my death bed at 105 LMAO.

The grocery bill is magically way less…I can afford to eat again!!! Here I am dancing around with my glittery unicorn wand…

It’s been almost a full month since this new adventure of happiness has started. My son and his girlfriend asked me to compare certain foods that I remember the taste of…so far:

Cheez-its- regular ones. I could have sat down and ate the whole box. I was so excited they were coming out with GF ones in 2026, but I was really getting impatient. I did not eat the whole box, but I wanted to.

KitKats…I loved these, but the one I borrowed from my youngest, lol, was so gross. Come to find out it was a frozen stale KitKat…make sure these are not stale. Vomit! so much yumminess when fresh. I “borrowed” half of her replaced one, lmao.

Went to the OG with my fam. “Breadsticks Gang” as my son called us, but I didn’t have any, because I wanted room for my Never Ending Pasta bowls…they got in my belly, the mushroom sauce still amazing, wish it was a year round flavor!

I can’t seem to find the pistachio oreos, major sad face.

Sushi for our anniversary…omgoodness I missed being able to order anything and everything. Well, the night of our anniversary we were shopping at Costco, because I needed snacks…AND I had Costco pizza, which I didn’t mind at all…drooling all over the place like a St. Bernard puppy. Someone grab me a bib!!

For breakfast at the NV Day Parade I filled up with dos Tipsy Lavender Lemonades and some Carls Jr. lol…

Doughboys…it melted in my mouth, the yummy warm maple gazed twist.

Okay, flash light off…blanket still over my head, because I am probably freezing…

I am having fun introducing all the foods I once loved back into my life. It has been quite the adventure.

In no means do I regret being GF for the years I was, it taught me more than I realized it would. My heart goes out to those who can’t have gluten in their diet, yes food is becoming better tasting, but for an autoimmune disease that has been out there for over 100 years you would think there would be more food options in ALL stores, the food costs would be comparable to all food prices, and it wouldn’t be such a struggle to attend amusement parks, potlucks, and restaurants, etc.

If you are the type of person who likes to donate to shelters, food pantries, etc, please think about those who have special diets and donate for them too.

So, after my fun-ness of medical procedures I know my insides are healthy, my throat was stretched, would never recommend this unless it’s needed, so now no more choking…go ahead let your mind wander on that one.

If you are given a blood test for gluten and it’s positive, DEMAND a biopsy. Read your results, copy and paste them into google – it will break them down for you in words that are understandable.

The best advice that was ever given to me by a doctor during COVID, ‘you are your own advocate, do your own research (I personally suggest looking at the UK research) and fight for your rights’. You can fire your doctor. You can get second opinions. And you can see all your doctor’s notes, it’s your right, they are usually posted in your chart, so download the medical apps, know what is happening with your body.

I can poop some magical poop again!! Bahaha sorry not sorry.

Love you all!! Thank you for enjoying my nonsense.

AND as always…

Remember to enjoy the Sunshine, Sparkles, and Mother Fucking Unicorn Poop!!!!!

I Am

I am darkness
Full of starlight
I am dark thunder clouds
Waiting to burst
I am dark smoke
Fueled by fire
I hide in the shadows
Lighting a path with sparkles
I have a warm black fuzzy heart
Full of glitter
I am enormous saltwater swells
Filled with passion
I am darkness
With rays of hope
I am thunder clouds
With colorful wonder
I am dark smoke
With cleansing flames
I hide in the shadows
With my aura shining bright
I have a warm black fuzzy heart
With strength keeping me strong
I have a warm black fuzzy heart
I am enormous saltwater swells
With beautiful power
I am
Me.

Sunshine, sparkles, mother fucking unicorn poop

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Throwing glitter

Ever feel like you’ve lost yourself? One minute you’re on this path of strength and slowly you start to drift, not even realizing you’re crossing into the shoulder, even though it’s getting bumpy, and somewhere along the path it’s changed. You don’t even remember when or how, but here you are, lost. Your surroundings are familiar, but you no longer recognize who you are. That’s were I am. Lost. In the middle of a path. I know it’s still me because I feel it, but I’m trapped inside screaming for someone to let me out. But the problem is only I can open that door. The handle is hot every time I try. Or at least it was…

I realized months ago I was not okay, not myself. Just a girl going through the same motions every day. Hit snooze twice, getting up, get ready, pack my lunch, say goodbyes, head to work, work, head home, sit on the couch, eat dinner, watch the same shit, get ready for bed, and goodnight. I wasn’t enjoying much. I think around my birthday is when I noticed I was not okay.

I normally like to reflect on the previous year instead of making a resolution. Seeing what I can change or work on. This year I didn’t. I entered 2024 with fake smiles, fake happiness in hopes it would help me. My 40^th… I had been so excited for this day, months and months prior, but the day came and fake happiness. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed everything about the day, but it was just another day and that’s not how I envisioned it. Something was wrong and this is when my insides started screaming.

I decided I was going to celebrate all month in hopes it would help me, then I decided I’d celebrate whenever I damn well pleased this year, because I deserve it. And suddenly I was grabbing that door handle, not caring as it burned my hand, opening the door…

I opened it just a little peering into what felt like familiar waters. A bit choppy as I started to find my footing again. Slowly the door opened some more and a little more. This is when I decided I was going to bring myself back bursting through that door like the Kool-Aid dude. BOOM!! Here I am. Attitude and all. Take it or leave it.

I lost myself. I somehow went down a path I knew, but slowly wandered into darkness. I didn’t like what I was seeing or feeling. It hasn’t been easy, but I know it’s worth it. I miss seeing that woman who was shining in confidence full of glitter, love, and smiles. Am I fully back? No, but I opened the door to me again.

Smile bitches because I’m about to throw glitter everywhere!!

Sunshine, sparkles, and mother fucking unicorn poop.

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Cheers to a new chapter

When I started my blog I was a 911 dispatcher, my kids were 14, 12, and 8. I told everyone that read my first introduction there would be errors, foul language, maybe an emoji here and there, and acronyms used. If they didn’t like it they didn’t have to read it.

Life has gone on…

I am no longer a 911 dispatcher, when you sound like Minnie Mouse on a regular basis it’s difficult to have a job like that. Can’t really have an authoritative voice sounding like a cartoon character.

My children have grown some. My son is now a young adult and in college. My middle daughter has just a little time left in high school and my youngest daughter is finishing middle school.

If you’ve been here from the start of my blog you know my writing hasn’t changed. It’s raw, like I wanted.

I still sit in front of the computer screens, just not an overload of them, twirl in my chair when I get bored, which is often, and still work in public safety – on a different level. It doesn’t matter if I go to work sounding like I should work at Disneyland…I’ll be taken seriously. I just sit there and analyze shit, pay shit, and have added to my skill set.

Yay for adulting!!

I still have 14 tabs open, ALWAYS, squirrel, but I get shit done and even though most my conversations and blogs aren’t complete without 16 mini conversations thrown in the mix you all know eventually I will get back on point, and it all makes sense, plus I think those that know me and read my shit secretly love to see what squirrels I have in store!! Lol…

Here’s to the next chapter!!

Sunshine, Sparkles, and Mother fucking Unicorn Poop!!

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They’re just words

Words words fucking words. You would think they would be easy, simple in fact, but nope. When you have 14 tabs open, the static is so thick that when you attempt to speak it’s gibberish, and you sound like you just played a game of telephone while drinking a bottle of tequila. So yeah there’s that.

I’ve lost my damn words. POOF!! Into the atomsphere they’ve gone…just floating into space somewhere…

I try to make since of them, but it’s like reading the alphabet backwards while at the same time patting your belly with one hand and making circles on top of your head with the other. I feel completely lost without my words. All I know are words. I write nonstop, but here’s the thing…the shit I’ve been writing is just that, SHIT. Smelly shit that is sitting in a paper bag on fire sitting on a front porch waiting to be stepped on. I am allowed to say this, because they are my words.

When I go back and read this shit I realize I am being careful, so careful that it’s like I am tip toeing my way around so as not to hurt people or upset them. BUT what I am forgetting is it’s my writing, my words are written for me. For what I am going through, for the bullshit I need to vent about, or just the crap I want to say because I want too or need too. I love that others enjoy what I write and those that follow my blog know that it’s raw, that I don’t edit my writing, that it’s my journal in a way, and I love that everyone respects that.

Now I need to stop being careful, stop walking on eggshells, or whatever the fuck it is I am doing, and get back to me. Get back to my normal. If I need to travel down the rabbit hole to find my way back I fucking will. I am over this shit. My fear or whatever needs to seriously take a trip into the fuck it bucket and be flushed down the toilet.

Until next time…Sunshine, Sparkles, and Mother Fucking Unicorn Poop my peeps!!